In life, there are often circumstances where, for whatever reason, we underestimate ourselves. Whether it’s sports, academics, achievements or even relationships, a lot of the time people tend to give themselves the short end of the stick. Where it originates varies from a failed driving test to an unsupportive dad that just maybe wished you weren’t his son whenever he was forced to watch you run track.
It’s different for everyone.
What remains the same in these life altering childhood fuck ups is it leaves a little root of doubt in your mind. Sitting there.
Gnawing at any good you can do and feeding any failures you might have.
Sometimes it can make people better, forging a strong sense of self as they battle against their own insecurities throughout life.
Sometimes it can stunt a person, leaving them a shell of who they could because they can barely trust themselves at all.
And sometimes, very rarely.
A innocent, friendly neighbourhood supervillain can vastly underestimate just how funny bringing a shotgun to a water gun fight can be.
What the hell just happened! Luke thought as the effect of Punchline blinded him, the end of his very own shotgun barrel turning as bright as the sun. Which Luke still wasn’t convinced really existed.
There was a certain sense of chaos to Luke’s plans, which seemed to have been exacerbated a little bit after he upped his I.T Factor. Couple that with a sprinkle of surprise and a healthy dose of mortal fear at being pitted against the proto natural disaster herself and maybe the idea of shooting another person in the face with a shotgun did seem rather appealing. It couldn’t hurt right?
Luke had been crafting a plan for almost every contestant he’d seen on the light projections, basing their powers against his own skillset and trying to come up with weaknesses they should have. But water girl? He hadn’t bothered. She seemed to possess a perfect mix of offense and defense while also clearly knowing how to get the most out of her powers. That was a hard nut to crack, even for a villain with more experience than himself.
Might’ve blown my load a little quickly though. Luke thought, trying to blink away the fuzzy white dots in his vision.
Luke hadn’t even thought Punchline would work. The ability clearly desired some level of clarity on what the desired outcome was and all the cashier had been able to come up with in the moment was “BIG BOOM” in the general direction of his barrel. But then he had felt it. The audience. Their… humor at the scene of him whipping a shotgun on water princess like a birthday surprise. Like a… punchline, funnily enough.
That humor of not just himself, but the people watching had latched onto the ability. But that wasn’t what Luke had underestimated. He knew it was funny. He also knew that Punchline should produce some effect, even if it was miniscule.
He had not been prepared for just how much more powerful humour made his ability.
Because the second he pulled the trigger his whole world had gone bright.
And now, gazing across the fuzzy looking arena, Luke could clearly see a sight that surprised not just him, but probably everyone else in the arena.
A stunned Aqua, eyes fixed on her own wall of water with a gaping hole in it and the golden glow of her Guardian Bracelet crackling. Her jaw was hung slack, but she couldn’t even see the most jaw dropping sight. Because just behind her, burned into the Pit tile, was “Big Boom” in big, comic style letters.
“I…” Aqua started, her chest which had a protective golden glow over it. She kept switching between looking at it and then back to Luke, before pointing an accusatory finger at him, much much less amused than she had been mere moments earlier. “That wasn’t funny. That wasn’t funny at all!”
“I think they’d disagree.” Luke refuted, pointing to the crowd clambering around them as he propped the steaming edge of his shotgun against the ground. It was very red and scary and he did not want it near him.
“I… I… I…” Aqua started, stamping her feet to the ground. It appeared she was not as graceful in defeat at she had been in victory. “I want a REMATCH THIS INSTANT-”
She exploded into gold before she could finish.
“Woah! An one hit blow in the first few exchange! Who would’ve expected that?!” Vibe roared over the Pit, hyping up the crowd. “And our very own darling of water, Aqua. I’m appalled. I simply must meet the man. You know what that means folks?!”
Luke, tried to ignore the announcer as he mentally took a breath and prepared himself for the next scrap, even when the man was talking about him. The key word there being tried because they went out the window when the crowd started roaring “post fight interview”.
The cashier jumped in surprise when the spick and spangled Vibe appeared in front of him in a flash of gold and glitter, simply popping into existence. Before they even exchanged hellos the announcer held out another microphone, shoving it in his face mercilessly. Out of instinct, Luke shoved his steaming red hot shotgun back in his.
To his credit, Vibe didn’t flinch. But he did gulp as his eyes flicked to the barrel and then back to Luke.
“So… V, what a stellar performance. I must say, I had you figured out a ‘bag full of tricks’ kind of Supe, instead of a one hit wonder. Tell us all, what kind of Supe would you consider yourself?” Vibe asked, his voice syncing with the one echoing across the Pit. It was a very surreal sight for the cashier gazing up and seeing his dumb masquerade masked self standing there looking like he was about to rob the announcer.
So much so that his mind blanked on an answer.
Which meant Luke ended up just saying the first thing that came to mind.
“The villainous kind.” Luke said, trying to make his voice a little deeper and immediately regretting that decision.
He expected a chorus of laughter at his dumb answer and their was a few chuckles to be sure. But there was also a few “ooohs” and “aahhh” that made him not wish the world would swallow him whole a spit out a better, not dumb supervillain.
“Very on brand V. I’m assuming the V in your name then stands for such villainy that you plan to commit? Quite ‘too the point’ I must say!” Vibe said, eliciting enough laughs to make Luke a lot more sure he wanted the ground beneath him to swallow him whole. “But I suppose I was meaning a bit deeper V. We don’t have a lot of time with you so me, and I’m sure everyone here is wanting to know. What kind of supervillain are you?” This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Hmmm. It was a good question. Luke chewed on it for a moment before his lips curled into a smile.
“The kind of villain that shoots annoying announcers.” Luke said with that smile that was becoming all too easy to adorn, tapping the side of his shotgun against Vibe’s chest.
There was a moment of complete calm in Vibe’s eyes as he gazed at the gun tapping against his chest before he pretended to take a nervous step back, selling the act. Luke had guessed he probably would, knowing the announcer still wanted an exciting show even if he wasn’t intimidated by V.
“W-well I’m sure I, and the audience, would appreciate it if you could restrain your nature. A malicious nature, I’m assuming.” Vibe said, adding a pretend little shake to his voice to really sell the act.
“Can’t spell evil without V.” Luke nodded, giving a wave to the crowd. That seemed to excite them a little, giving the cashier a boost of confidence. Confidence he probably should of let sit quietly in his head. “Tell me Vibe, if I beat down all the other contenders too badly, will you have to step in?”
“A humble announcer like myself wouldn’t stop you long if the other contestants couldn’t. Especially after seeing what Borg did to your werewolf friend. If you could get through him, I’d fall onto my knees into surrender.” Vibe said, mimicking fainting as he let slip something that cut through Luke’s fake confidence act.
Jessica lost. And Borg was the name of that walking tin can that did her in. Luke felt a little drain from the pep in his step. In all honesty her chances against Borg hadn’t been the highest from the get go. They were a bad match up and Luke had known that even as he was coming up with a plan for her to win.
But he’d hoped she would win. The same way he hoped that Shrapnel and Snapper had won or were winning. She would be nowhere near the top five now and wouldn’t be getting the prize money which she definitely deserved more then him, considering she’d use it for her child instead of funding being a supervillain.
“How did she lose-” Luke started before being immediately cut off by Vibe.
“And that’s all the time we have folks!” Vibe roared, disappearing in a burst of gold and reappearing back on top of his platform, held up by those ominous inky black walls. “WE GOT A NEW FIGHT COMING RIGHT UP!”
Luke was about to question if that was him when the inky black wall ahead of him collapsed to the ground, revealing another cordoned off square of the arena. It wasn’t hard to recognize just who was inside. Jet black metal plating on an eight foot behemoth of steel and technology that gazed towards him with dark red lenses for eyes.
There was a brief moment of stillness from both of them as they both took in the suddenness of having to fight again so soon. It also might’ve spawned from the expectation for Vibe to announce their fight, but the announcer didn’t say anything. Perhaps that was because the surprise was part of the entertainment.
It didn’t matter.
There was a few seconds where the death machine wasn’t charging head first into Luke.
And he seized them.
“Would you like to see something funny-”
“YOUR FLESH SHALL BECOME MORTAR FOR THE GREAT MACHINE!” Borg roared, cutting him off as the death machine charged him far faster than anything that size ever should be able to.
“Oh fuck.” Luke mumbled.
He raised his shotgun and aimed at its head, using the gap between them to his advantage. He pushed the thought of what he wanted into Punchline and pulled the trigger… but nothing happened. His shotgun, with an end that was splintered, clicked harmlessly.
Like Aqua, it had not survived an audience charged Punchline.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!” Luke shouted, tossing his shotgun at the giant machine and running the other way.
*******************
Above the highest rungs of the Pit, in a box of grand gold that offered the best view of the fights below, a single figure adorned in silks and crowned laurel wreath sat on a grandiose throne, almost too exquisite to exist in a time like the one they did.
He was flanked on both sides by legionaries dressed in their distinctive armour who possessed the keen sense and strength to kill anything that even got close to the emperor. Because of course, Cesar was merciful and would not do even an assassin the disservice of being forced to engage in battle with him.
No, the emperor wouldn’t be battling anyone as he watched aspirants duel in his coliseum. He didn’t even have a sword slung around his waist or a dagger in his hand. His waist was put to far better use equipping the beautiful ruby belt he’d had made by a gemstone Prodigy and his hands were far better served holding glasses of wine for him to sip at his liking.
It might not make sense to the average man. But Cesar was not an average man. He was an emperor and an emperor's appearance was his power. In a very literal sense.
“Do any candidates peak your interest, emperor?” One of his legionaries asked, likely because Cesar had paused on his wine, gazing aimlessly at the array of black walls beneath him.
It was a far question for them to ask, one at least worthy of a reply. They were his legion captains afterall, tasked with filling ranks with capable Supes who could be trained into a proper army when Cesar finally took his rightful spot as Venus City’s Adjudicator. E.R.A.O wouldn’t just hand it over to him without a fight, but someone like Dotcom, in Cesar’s eyes, was not worthy of a role like that. Especially when you stacked her up against the other cities' Adjudicators. But that was a plan far down the road. For later.
For now Cesar still had to answer the question. He couldn’t leave his captains in silence as much as he would like to.
“No.” He admitted freely. There were always flashy Supes in the Pit. His acclaim alone drew them. The bar had long since been raised to the point where Cesar could hardly even consider candidates that didn’t decimate the whole field.
And there didn’t appear to be one of those in this batch. Sure a few that were much stronger then the majority and some more who seemed to just be smarter than the majority but none who just blitzed the whole competition with sheer strength.
So no, he wasn’t interested in them at all.
“Then is something else on your mind, emperor?” His legionnaire captain questioned, clearly unaware.
It was a little disappointing that neither of the captains had caught on, but Cesar couldn’t fault them for it. He decided in graceful fashion that answering his guards question with silence was the best way to go about it. There was no way to explain that he was much more interested in a certain audience member then the fighters themselves.
Especially when that audience member was lofty leaning behind the both of them, seemingly invisible to their senses.
In most cases, this would be a failure of such magnitude that Cesar would be forced to demote the both of them. But in this particular case, it was hardly fair to expect either of them to notice him.
Even though he might be a Prodigy, the man behind him had a certain way of bending the rules of power sets to allow him to do things he really shouldn’t have been able to.
Cesar didn’t bother to shoot him a questioning glare. Nor did he say a word.
If that man were here, sitting his in his imperial box, there was only one reason.
An Architect like him, only ever left his den to watch his creations. Which meant there was one in the Pit.
A small smile cracked on the emperor's lips. Perhaps there was a diamond in the rough among the aspirants.
 
The only question is… Cesar thought, taking a small sip of his wine. Which one of you is the poor soul who got caught up dealing with a man like him?