Atzi warily glared at the rough looking man. No, I deserve to eat! I’m going to be important again soon! I can totally scare this guy off!
“Are you dumb or something? It’s an inn. I’m here to eat,” Atzi said, motioning to her still uneaten curry.
“Better watch your food so the cyclops,” he spat the word, “doesn’t poison it.”
“Why would that matt- oh, right.” Atzi had briefly forgotten other people had to worry about poison. “Well, this place had plenty of people before and no-one got poisoned. So…” Atzi pulled out her dagger. “Get lost. I’m eating here.” Heh, I must look so cool.
“Your funeral,” he said, cracking his neck and drawing his club.
No! You’re supposed to get scared and run away! Atzi quickly took all the poison and drool building up in her mouth and launched it at the floor in front of the guy. Some splashed on his pants and began eating its way through.
“Fucking shit!” the man yelled, jumping back. “Fuck you!”
Atzi grinned wide, showing off her sharp teeth. That’s it. “Like I said, I’m here to eat.” She stood, arching up on her feet to appear larger, swinging her tail behind her.
“Fucking cyclops loving piece of shit traitor! You deserve whatever she does to you!” The man backed towards the door and, finding it closed, fumbled before opening it and stepping out.
Atzi calmed down. Wow, I’m so cool.
“Thank you,” Hemm said.
Atzi turned back towards the cyclops, smiling. “Of course.” She eyed her still uneaten food. C’mon, c’mon.
Hemm pointed at where Atzi’s poison was still eating through the floor. “Were you the one who ruined my bar counter?”
Oh no. “A-ah, huh?”
“It’s just that- nevermind.” Hemm shook her head, her purple hair swaying. “You’ve more than made up for it. Just please don’t go spitting on anything else.”
Atzi gave an awkward laugh. “So, um, about the food…”
Hemm chortled, clutching her side. It was joyful and boisterous, and Atzi liked the sound of it.
That’s good, right?
“Go ahead,” the cyclops said.
Atzi didn’t wait a second longer, rushing back to her seat and devouring the rice and curry before it cooled. It took her three spoonfuls to realize it also tasted good. A hundred times better than anything Parish ever made, and the best meal she’d had in years. I need to come here again.
Atzi ran her tongue over the oil and scraps, literally licking the clay plate clean. She set it down and only wished she had more.
“Would you like more?” Hemm asked.
Atzi nodded rapidly, and Hemm gave a smile before heading back to the kitchen.
Now this is the kind of respect I deserve.
She soon came back with the second plate and Atzi ate it slowly this time, chatting with Hemm between bites.
“So what’s your name?” Hemm asked as she grabbed a broom.
“Atzi.” Wait, I can’t tell her I’m a thief. “I’m uh… a uh… volunteer at the Water temple, yeah.” It was a place she sometimes went to eat free food. Good cover.
Hemm began sweeping the floor. “Ah, I’m afraid I’m not familiar with the Water faith. I follow the Saintess myself.”
Since she lives here, that makes sense, I guess. I just hope she isn’t another freak about it… “Oh, yeah, the Water faith is about…” Atzi quickly tried to remember all the sermons she never paid attention to. “Well, she made us lizards. And she says bad things are actually good.”
“Huh?” Hemm asked, confused.
“I mean- bad things have good parts. Makes you stronger.”
“I don’t feel much stronger,” Hemm said, looking around her inn. “I really hope he doesn’t come back. Or all the others like him…”
“Why’s it matter to him? He didn’t even look like he’s from Novae.”
Hemm gave a sad shrug. “I don’t know. It started last night. Nobody’s been nice enough to tell me ‘here’s why we’re ruining your life’. I mean, I know about the war. People can be hasty, but… maybe there’s more to it?”
“Guards don’t care to help? There were a bunch eating in here before.” I’d trust a guard about as far as I can throw them, but they actually used this place, I can trust their self-interest at least.
"I told the guards. They told me they'd look into it. I haven't heard anything since. They haven't even posted someone outside." Hemm deflated. "I just don't want to wake up with one of those freaks putting a sword through me.”
"Oh... uh, maybe stay with a friend....?"
"I...if I leave, they'll burn the place down. I know they will. They threatened as much."
Wow. “That really sucks.” Atzi finished the last of her second plate, refraining from licking it clean this time.
She reinflated. "But! You're my first customer, Atzi! If you tell enough people to come eat here, I can earn enough to post a bodyguard and end this!"
"Yeah…" Well, I'll tell who I can. Atzi stood up. "I can come back in two days for food then, too, got a payday coming soon."
“Great, see you then,” Hemm smiled once more, and took the dirty dishes away.
Atzi strode out of the inn. She’s so nice. And a good cook! Well fed and without much to do yet, she decided to sit down against a wall of a poorly traveled side street and bask in the sun’s rays. She drowsily nodded off.
She awoke hours later in a good mood. This is what my life should be. A pretty woman who serves me good food and then I get to take a nap. The only thing it’s missing is more money, a nice place to live, more women, sex, respect from everybody, even more food… Her stomach growled. It’s actually pretty late. Time to get my meal from Braun!Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
-
The bar was busy again. Braun was already seated, drinking away. She noticed he was wearing a more expensive outfit of blue silk, though one still ruined by alcohol stains. Wow, he’s really bad at looking the part of a rich guy. Well, at least he’s not crying. She approached him.
Braun smiled and gave a wave of his meaty hand. “Ah, hi, um…”
“Atzi.”
“Right! Atzi!” He cleared the ten glasses next to him, clearly much more sober this time. “I’m glad you showed up.”
Of course I did! A free meal’s a free meal, even if it’s not from that inn…
“Barkeep, two more drinks!” He motioned to Parish, then reached into his pouch and pulled out a bronze coin.
In the brief moment Atzi got a glimpse, she noticed he only had bronze coins on him this time. Guess he didn’t want to get in a fight again. Not that I’d try to rob him after what he did. He’s never as incapacitated as he seems.
Parish set down two glasses - one in front of Braun and the other in front of Atzi. He gave her a wink.
Yeah Parish, I know you know what I’m doing, but a lizard’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. She took her mug and began drinking.
Meanwhile, Braun drained his current mug and immediately started work on the new one, putting the old one aside next to his small but growing pile.
Atzi swished her tail impatiently before asking, “Hey, could you spot me for a meal? I can’t really drink on an empty stomach and I spent the day doing temple community service…” This is such a good lie, I should use it more often.
Braun took out another bronze coin. “Of course! Barkeep, food for us both!”
Parish quickly whipped up what could charitably be called food. He placed in front of both of them a burnt piece of a chicken and, in Atzi’s view, some kind of grey mush.
Upon seeing his food, Braun began crying.
“What’s wrong?” Atzi asked, mouth full of burnt chicken.
“Right, I guess I didn’t tell you the whole story…” Braun sniffed, before blowing his nose on the inside of his shirt. “It’s the story of how I got this money.”
The shift in the bar was palatable. A lot of the ongoing conversations were reduced to whispers as everyone listened in.
Knock it off, you buzzards! I’m the one getting a free meal here.
Atzi sat there, listening to his sob story about how his wife died three years ago, he only had her chicken to remember her by, then the house burned down, and the chicken with it. One of the hen’s eggs survived and a merchant offered him a lot of money for it. Enough for a new place and the money he had on him.
Atzi raised an eyebrow. “Did they say why? That sounds really suspicious.”
“I don’t know, he said it was a rare breed. I thought it was strange, too, but I still sold it…”
“Maybe treat it like a bit of divine luck and use the money on something your wife would have liked…?”
He gave a sad chuckle. “I don’t think my wife would like how I’ve used the money… but I’m so lonely.” He turned to Atzi and smiled. “You know, you’re the nicest prostitute I’ve ever met. First one ever to not tell me to shut up and get on with it.”
Parish smirked at Atzi.
“Prostitute?!”
Braun suddenly looked very confused. “What? Wait… you are, aren’t you?”
“Do I look like one?” Atzi asked. There’s no way someone could think I was a prostitute!
“I just thought you… I…” Braun embarrassedly drained his mug.
Gross! “No!” Atzi groaned. “You thought I was trying to… no!”
Braun hastily got up from the table. “I’m… gonna end drinking early tonight. Sorry! Sorry.” He sped out.
Atzi buried her face in her hands on the bar. She heard chuckling coming from the other tables. “Fall in a swamp and die, assholes!” she shouted back, before slinking out.
Thoroughly embarrassed, she headed home. As she curled up in bed, she wondered why she would be mistaken for one. Besides my good looks, of course. Is that enough to get mistaken for a prostitute?
She dreamed about everyone laughing at her.
===
The next afternoon, as she wandered to kill time before her job and maybe find a meal, she came across Jem.
“Atzi!”
Oh great… The lizard priestess of the Water was attractive, sure, but very annoying to Atzi. “Hi…”
“It’s so good to see you again!” Her hair was a light bright blue, almost white, traveling down her back, and she was wrapped in the bright cyan robes that all priests and priestesses of the Water wore. Her tail stuck out beneath the bottom, just a peek. Her scales were almost pure white, with a few feathers poking out, a sign of her heritage to a particular lizard clan. “There’s a prayer session today at the Water temple! You should come!” Her emerald eyes sparkled.
I don’t even have an excuse not to go. Maybe it'll be good luck, this time? The Water definitely wants me to succeed in poisoning these guards, probably. Make their lives more difficult, or whatever. Plus, free food. “...Sure, alright.”
She gave a huge grin. “Great! Follow me!”
As they traveled along, Jem approached several more lizards, urging them to join her in the temple. Most said they were busy, but a few joined, and soon Atzi found herself in the middle of a small moving crowd, all the way to the temple district.
Jem, Atzi, and the rest shuffled into the temple to the Water. The stone building was large compared to most buildings, but far from the average temple to Sostrian gods. Several wooden pews lined both sides of the interior, leading up to a large fountain atop which a statue of the Water stood.
She was not a lizard, but a human, over seven feet tall, taller than even the Ancestor. Her depiction was wrapped in robes similar to Jem’s. Tears - real water, not just an interpretation carved in stone - flowed from the statue’s eyes, filling the fountain below.
It’s weird the Water isn’t a lizard. Atzi was more familiar with the faith than she wanted to be, having grown up around it back in Pomaria. Nearly all of the Water's worshippers were lizards like Atzi, naturally following the goddess of their marshy homeland. A few humans joined the faith, though Atzi could never understand why. Her prophet isn’t either, now that I think of it. The first one in history, Atzi had heard while scamming a free meal in the temple.
“Sit anywhere you like!” Jem said, and Atzi quickly took a seat in the back, alone.
Atzi waited until the food was passed out. She chowed down on the dry cake, washing it down with a cup of water - technically, ‘tears’ from the fountain.
Now to just slip out-
“Let us begin with our prayer,” Jem announced. She took a seat on the edge of the fountain.
Gods damn it.
Jem wrapped herself in a hug, and everyone else did, too. Even Atzi, not to appear out of place.
Jem spoke, “Oh Water, Lifebringer to All,
“Queen of Sadness and Suffering,
“Ruler of Rains,
“Mother of Lizards…”
That part always made Atzi wonder if there was a lizard dad, too.
“We beseech for your blessing, to let our minds accept our own suffering, and live through our struggles for another day. We ask you to give us the challenges we need to improve and the mettle to meet them.”
Atzi didn’t repeat that part. I don’t want more challenges! I want a warm place to sleep and enough honey-glazed grasshoppers for life.
She tuned out the rest of the prayer, instead thinking about food.
“Now for community service!”
Atzi took that as her moment, slinking out while everyone was distracted being told what to do.
-
“Good, you’re here,” Fence said as they toyed with a bracelet on their wrist.
“Hey. Do you eat out much? There’s a good inn-”
“Shut up.” Fence grabbed a sack and handed it to Atzi.
Atzi opened it up, inspecting the cups. She took a moment to stack them neatly so they wouldn’t clack against each other while she snuck. “How long after the job until I get paid?”
“Tomorrow evening. The client will want to pay you in person and explain the next job. That is, if you succeed. If you fail… well first off, don’t fucking fail. But if you do, you don’t know me, you don’t know where you got these goods, you don’t know anything. Got it?”
Atzi thumped her tail. “I know that much!”
“Good! Now go and make us rich!”